359 Southwyck House, Clarewood Walk, London, SW9 8TT
Tel: 0207 738 6893, Fax: 0207 733 8422

mailto:eddiesurmantrust@hotmail.com http://www.eddiesurmantrust.org.uk/

I can hear Eddie's voice every time I read his letter. The one I found in my bedside drawer as I waited for the ambulance to arrive.
On arriving home that evening I had found Eddie in a coma as a result of having taken a massive overdose of painkillers. He died never having regained consciousness on the afternoon of 16th March 1996 at twenty past two, in the arms of his mother and myself. The following day would have been his 21st birthday.
After two of the happiest years of my life a light had suddenly gone out. Life without him will always be darker for me and his family.
The void he left behind will never be filled.

Dear Peter,

I am so sorry for what I am about to do.
Please forgive me. I am so sorry.

I find it hard to live, my mind constantly has bad thoughts
and it frightens me being HIV+.

I am so scared of the future. I am scared of losing you,
you are my life.

I love you so much.

For me it is the easy way out. I know I am just thinking about
myself. I am sorry. You have been the best thing that has ever
happened to me, thank you for being in my life.

I cannot rest with myself. I love you so much and I know

you love me but it isn't enough for me to take the pain away.
Please forgive me, I am so sorry.

Love
Eddie
xxxx